Parents have a mammoth task in rearing up their children to become good, responsible, law-abiding citizens of their country. As it is very rightly said that the ‘Home’ is the first school of the child and ‘Parents’ are their first teacher’s.
It is a common sight, in the early mornings, to see young children racing down the road at break neck speed, trying to reach school in time. Many a times they are helmetless, many a times three on a motorbike or on the small modern day scooties, driving furiously, as if the heavens are about to fall! We also see school vans stuffed with children, like sardines into a can, honking furiously as they drive recklessly, with the children, to school. Many children are on bicycles, cycling at high speed, sometimes dangerously overtaking the cars and buses, in an endeavor to reach their school , before the gates shut.
Every morning, after the child has left for school , the Parents are a relieved lot.
They feel at peace and satisfied that they have done their duty ! They have sent their child to one of the best schools for which they are paying a heavy fee, they have purchased the best motorcycle or bicycle for him, at his insistence so that he reaches school in time, given him a good breakfast, helped him dress up ,packed his bag, packed his tiffin and that’s it! Their duty is over they try to convince themselves and hence forth they expect the school and teachers to be responsible for the child and his safety. This is a misconception and parents should be wise enough not to believe in this. Parents are the best guides, counselors and facilitators to their child . It is their duty to tell their children over and again, without a trace of anger or irritation 1)what is the right thing to do, 2)the right way to do it 3)explain WHY it is the right way to do it and 4)what are the consequences if it goes wrong. Just by ordering or commanding them to do something and expecting that their command to be followed, will not solve the purpose. Nor will the purpose be solved by passing the buck on to others! Children, especially adolescents, have their own way of perceiving, thinking and doing things, which maybe different from that of the parents. We may call it a Generation Gap, BUT ACTUALLY IT IS THE LACK OF GOOD PARENTING SKILLS on the part of parents. If parents wish that their children respect them and listen to them, they have to develop the skill of good parenting, good communication and a rapport with their children, whereby the child understands the parents INTENTION behind his words.. As long as the child does not agree 100% to what a parent tries to tell him to do or not do, and as long as he does not feel 100% sure that whatever they are saying is for his benefit, he may listen to them but whether he obeys them or not, is a different story. So it is imperative for parents today, to bond with their children, by UNDERSTANDING and appreciating their perspective, AND THEN motivating them and assertively telling them what is the right thing to do.They should communicate clearly and repeatedly till the child is convinced that what is being told to them IS the right thing or the right way to do the thing.
Motorcycles and scooters are most dangerous vehicles to balance and drive,for everyone. I personally feel that parents should RESIST from giving these to their children and think of alternate safe ways for children to reach school. Adolescents are in a stage of emotional and hormonal upheaval and try to seek attention or thrill by driving at a great speed or indulge in other risky behaviors .Who will tell the children the hazards of rash and fast driving? Parents of course should do so, as the child is more attached to them. Parents should assertively and repeatedly talk to their children about speed limits and other safety measures to be adopted while driving on road and ensure that their children are following these safety measures. So should the school authorities and teachers. Both,Parents and Teachers are role-models for the children and both should also ensure that they themselves follow what they preach to the children. A parent speeding fast cannot expect his son not to do so! After all there is nothing more precious than life-our own and that of our loved ones, and parents should keep reinforcing this fact to the children.
Dr.Sona Kaushal Gupta
Neuro-Psychologist Dehra Dun
Designasted State CBSE COUNSELLOR
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